Tag Archives: Music

New Symptom: Nightmares

My mornings have been awful. Apparently one of the side effects of two of my medications is nightmares. And nightmares can trigger migraines. Which I learned is why I have been waking up with monstrous migraines and scared for no reason.

So I wrote a prayer. I have confidence in it so I am going to share it. A little back story, In 1 Samuel 16 we learn that Saul is afflicted with nightmares and they he finds relief when David plays his lyre.

Play some Christian music or some classical music while you sleep.

musin nighmare

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We need help.

Sometimes we need help.

We are social beings. Our brains are hardwired to need people. We need family, friends, clergy, and loved ones. We need people in our lives that can build us up and people who can lift our spirits.

We also need to distance ourselves from toxic people. These people tell us lies about our illnesses, the people who care about us, and about our character. Toxic people tare us down and make us feel sad, lonely, unloved, and like we are burdens to the people we loves. These are all lies.

The people who love us do not see us as burdens. We are loved. We are strong. We inspire people. We build people up. We teach others about perseverance. We are doing the best we can. We are people doing something extraordinary. We function while suffering, we are doing the impossible. The people who love us see an exceptional person.

Sometimes we need help. We need to reach out to those who support us. Our family, friends, loved ones, support groups, and others going through what you are. And sometimes we need to reach out to psychologists, talk therapy, the E.R. The E.R. will admit you to the psychiatric ward and that’s OK. If you are psychotic, very depressed, or having suicidal thoughts it is where you need to be. Personal care is important. Part of that is reaching out for help from whomever you feel/think will give you the bests help or advice.

Sometimes you need help and that is normal. It’s okay. Take care of yourself.

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Epilepsy Awareness Day 10: Epileptic Dancing

Your Favorite Martian Techno’s “Epileptic Techno” is awfully prejudice, hurtful, and harmful. I cannot post the video. If you are light sensitive do not go find it on YouTube.  I accidentally clicked the link and then felt like I was dying. I read the lyrics and comments and was amazed. Lyrics

I have never seen a dance move that looks like an seizure. I watch a lot of music videos. One person chimed in to express how the video was not offensive, it is a joke about dancing and seizures. This begs a few questions. Is a video that purposely adds triggers offensive? Is a video that uses a cartoon character having a seizure as comedy offensive? Is the equating dancing oddly and having a seizure offensive? Yes, those are all offensive. They should not be normalized. If you want to tell a joke at my expense that is your right. Do not tell me its not offensive. It is my right to be offended. And if you got to say “I ain’t trying to disrespect epileptics,” your disrespecting somebody.  If it isn’t an epileptic then maybe someone with turrets syndrome.

The song is alright, its my genre. The chorus is catchy and it has a funny cast of characters. There were a few epileptics in the comments who really enjoy it. A few who had seizures. There was one line I liked:

I felt my muscles expand and contract
I passed out on the dance floor laying on my back
Reality started fading, cutting in and out

It is the one moment I can relate to. Its the last moment of consciousnesses, the floor, and the first moments of regaining consciousness.

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Epilepsy Awareness Day9: Seizure Boy

Go see the comments

True Story. This is a good description.

Go check out how his song sparked a conversation about epilepsy.

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Karma the Dog Defeats Exercises!

Here I am being a good neurologically challenged person doing my floor exercises. I’m laying on my mat and listening to my tunes on, Jang Keun Suk kind of day. I forgot to close my door. Karma runs, trips, and plops on my tummy. 90 lbs of happy dog! I guess the only reason I would sit or lay on the floor is to give her loving. And the only reason I would get out a mat is for her to sleep on it. Silly human.

Lyrics: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQh1qQVRJEU

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MHAM 8: Fight Song


Post Topic: What is your #Migraine and #Headache fight song? Tell us why you chose it.
I had a hard time finding the challenge, I started late, but I want to do this one because of how important music is to my pain management.

(Lyrics: https://kkromanized.wordpress.com/2012/03/22/%EC%8B%A0%ED%99%94shinhwa-breathin-romanizedtranslated-lyrics/)

Breathin‘ by Shinwa

Botox is hard. The first time I was sitting on the table eyes closed, tense, and rigid. I was counting, thinking about the pain, how I was not going to cry or flip, and I was praying hard. I was think singing the Doxology in hyper speed and repeat.

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heav’nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.

My doctor patted me on the shoulder about five shots in, I need you to breath.

I felt like it was only me, the pain, the needles, and an empty lonely space. The doctors encouraging words didn’t help.

My thoughts suddenly went completely blank mid “creatures” for a few seconds, then I herd the end of the song,
“Breath…see it, feel it, enter the door of time together, we’re back.”

And then the song started from the beginning. Listening to the guys in my head and remembering the loose translations got me through the treatment. I kept breathing. I wasn’t alone, I had God, the doctor, and four students around me and we were in a very bright room. The doctor was giving me the last shot when the song ended.

I still listen to this song when I need encouragement. This is defiantly not a religious song or about being sick, but the song encourages me to seek God or the person I need to get through the moment. If I don’t try to meet my needs as sick person it’s foolish. Keeping relationships are hard especially when we are prone to seek our safe place. One thing we can do is to keep the door open. These people can help us do that by sharing happy memories, reminding us of times where we had fun despite the pain or of good times. The song also taught me another coping method. I can, with difficulties, let these memories of physical pain crumble, scatter, and fly away. In time I will feel alive for a few minutes again. Take time to feel myself breathing. Keep praying on shooting stars. That is how I can breath knowing I have to do it all over again.


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PAM16:6 Let Music Resonate

Music stimulates the brain. Pleasing music releases endorphins that relieve pain. Music can also be a way to distract a person from pain. It gives a person something to concentrate on. I think music is a coping tool that is readily available and valuable.

Music therapists can use music in a variety of ways to help a patient battle pain. The therapists can help a person learn to cope and express their pain through creative expression or a more passive setting through discussion and meditation while listening. Thinking about taking music therapy on? Check this out (http://www.musictherapy.org/)

I use music as a coping mechanism everyday. A few years ago my Dad read that listening to music for half an hour helps pain patients fall asleep. Ever since I have been listening to music every night before I fall asleep. I’m listening my “soft” list right now, it mostly has ballads from boy bands that are in the lower tones and slower. Most of the song are in Korean. It gives me something to do during those episodes where listening to music is about all that I can handle. I can listen for words that I know the meaning to, pick out individual sentences, and focus on how words are pronounced.

A sound track I like listening to on bad pain days is the “Gu Family Book OST” Lee Sung Gi is one of my favorites for bad days.



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Dizzy, conversations with a kid

I have a song for you tonight, “Dizzy” by Tommy Roe. It was one of my first anthems. My niece and I would dance to this song when she was a toddler.

I remember describing being dizzy to my niece for the first time, I think she was about 3. She asked why I couldn’t pick her up right now. She asked “whats dizzzeee?” She loved the merry-go-round. So I told her it felt like I had spent to much time on the merry-go-round while someone was pushing it very fast. She looked at me with big eyes and said “Oooh, like this?” Then she ran in circles as fast as she could for about a minute and stopped suddenly. She fell flat on her face. Laying there she says, “Oh I think I’m dizzeee.” After a bit she told me to come and lay down beside her. So we laid there, both dizzy and unable to get up. She looks at me dead in the eyes and says, “you know what, I think someone is running in circles in your head.”

She is about to turn 8 now. Sometimes she will look at me intently and say “are you dizzy?” Then, without wanting a reply, she will run up to me and take my arm like her mom does when she helps me walk. “Auntie, I am going to help. Its my turn.” Then she will proudly announce to the world, “Look out, make way, my Auntie is dizzy, we’re coming through.” Dear Lord help us if she ever gets the notion to help when I am actually very dizzy.

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Day 27 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge: You are Loved

Today we watched the video and was asked, how does it make you feel? Which lyrics do you find especially inspiring?

I the song made me think of all the people who love me. My family, Uni, and friends.

This song reminded me of the times friends and family spoke up or explained things for me when I could not. The first memory that came to mind was the last time I got my hair cut. It hurts a lot when my hair is brushed or moves, and it hurts when my scalped is touched, and moving my head around makes me dizzy. it never goes well. Uni went with me to comfort and encourage the hair stylist. Yes, the hair stylist. While I was focusing and crying, Uni was explaining my condition, how my hair should be cut, and gossiping. The hairstylists did a wonderful job, she cut all of my hair. She also ended up with a ten dollar tip, because Uni said one more one and that a good tip, and I handed her a ten and said keep it. Uni went with because I promptly fell down. He said, “Silence will keep you I will break it for you. Everybody wants to be understood” That is exactly what she had done, I went by myself once. Disaster. I could not tell her that it was okay, keep on, looks great. She felt horrible, it wasn’t straight. she gave up, didn’t charge me, I tipped her. I think she was traumatized. I need the stylist to understand, I can’t let my hair grow to long, I need her/him. I tell them before they start. I need you, you are going to hurt me. But they don’t understand. When my people take me to get my hair cut they are hurt to see me in so much pain, but they show me love by being brave and focusing on the person who needs their help most, who is not me.

The song made me think of the times when I hide in my room with the lights off for long periods of time. My little sister will come and tell me of everything that has been going on because the world is stressing her out to much and she is so happy to have at least one of her four siblings to care enough not to leave her all along with Mom and Dad. (I used a run on because I think she could tell you a thirty minute telling of her life story without taking a breath and be fine.)  And she usually comes with food or water. My mom will come and sit on the edge of the bed and star and say I can tell you are in a lot of pain today just by looking at you. And she will tell me not to worry because she has explained to anyone who has asked about me everything so I should only have the questions of if I feel better, much easier question. When he said the bit about darkness blinding you I will shine brightly for you is when I had these thoughts.

The song also reminded of friends who can tell how well I am doing by how I say the word “okay” when I’m talking about how I’m doing. They understand even when I don’t really have the words or want to explain myself in crowds of people or in a state where I am having hard times remembering words.

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Blogging Challenge 15 is When You Believe

Prompt: Watch and listen to the video of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston performing “When You Believe,” then tell us how it can inspire hope.

i was twelve when The Prince of Egypt was released. Even when watching them I see hope spreading as God’ s people prayers are answered, they are release from bondage into the promise land, away from suffering into happiness. Mose’s sister hope is so strong she can”t hold it in and her sister in law joins in. A little girl takes spreads it on a way that everyone can understand why there is hope. Those three ladies spread their hope to the  entire community and they joined in praise.It is about God answering prayers and reassurance that miracles happen. You don’t even have to know what it is you need or what it is you should should be hoping for. Hope is the opposite of fear. When we believe that hope can’t be taken away nobody can break it. Is this not what we are doing right now? Each blogger is putting the message of hope in a different way. everyone learns differently and maybe just one line of one post is what some needs to regain or strengthen their hope.

Fear not, keep hoping the Lord got this.

Side that is the chorus in Hebrew.

Today I am6a00d8341ce97953ef01b8d11f319c970c-800wi thankful for the hp envy 360. Without the tablet touch screen mode I would not be with you today. Mom is awesome.

The Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is organized by the American Headache and Migraine Association

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