I had Botox today. Like always the fifteen minutes dragged as the doctor gave me the painful injections. I sang the Gloria Patri and took deep breaths as the doctor did the injections. I am still in a lot of pain and its hurts to move.
It struck me today that getting Botox has made me overcome my phobia of needles. It still makes me anxious but I can breath and be pretty still. When we first started the doctor had to remind me to breath, be still, and keep my head held up. But not anymore. It took a lot of courage and strength from the Lord to get to this place.
I think overcoming phobias is a God thing. I need the Lord to get through every treatment.
Joshua 1:9 says: Have I not commanded you? be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid do not be discouraged, for the Lord you God will be with you wherever you go.
When I pray sometimes I focus on how much pain I’m in and only that. We need to remember to praise God and thank Him for the things that He has done and things we have. I am grateful that God connected me with caring doctors, medicine, a roof, and I’m surrounded by people who love and care for me
As I ponder your goodness
I’m compelled to lift praises.
I cast aside my woes and
I remember your goodness.
As I sweep aside my pain
I celebrate and worship.
My despair is silenced as
I sing thanksgiving.
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
for their wonderful goodness.
I learned today a comeback to our downer thoughts. Its like a springboard. When you have a negative thought strike back with saying something positive. Hearing the positivity allows us to think, say, and hear. Its a powerful comeback. Positive and uplifting messages are empowering and helps us focus on the good things. Makes us think about subjects like pain management, healthy self-esteem, the people who helps us along the way, and the Lord.
- Thoughts about being surrounded or trapped by the pain. Say “I’m surrounded by Jesus.” “I will be rescued” “I am surrounded by people who love me.”
- Thoughts about being weak. Say “My God is my strength” or “I am strong and courageous because I have hope in the Lord”
- I can’t do this. Say “I can do this. God directs my path.” or “the Lord is my author and my finisher”
- I’ll never get better. Say “the Lord will heal me” or “God is with the doctors” “New medicines are being discovered all the time.” or “I put my hope in the Lord.”
- Its to much emotionally. Say, “A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body” or “God’s got this.” or “I put my trust in Him” or “The Lord will fill me with joy.”
My mornings have been awful. Apparently one of the side effects of two of my medications is nightmares. And nightmares can trigger migraines. Which I learned is why I have been waking up with monstrous migraines and scared for no reason.
So I wrote a prayer. I have confidence in it so I am going to share it. A little back story, In 1 Samuel 16 we learn that Saul is afflicted with nightmares and they he finds relief when David plays his lyre.
Play some Christian music or some classical music while you sleep.
I say my psychiatrist for the first time yesterday. I was told I would be seeing her over the TV. I had no idea how that was going to play out. It was face time with all of the things that make me dislike face time. I could see her lips moving and then a little bit latter the sound would come through. It made communication a little awkward. Sometimes I couldn’t tell when she was finished asking her question and accidentally talked while she was still talking. Over all it wasn’t a bad experience. I seem to have a doctor who cares about her patients. We could talk about everything we needed to. I can get used to this weird face time environment.