It’s been almost 3 weeks since my last post. That is how many days I was falling down the rabbit hole. I don’t think I experienced Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, it only refers to feeling that things are smaller and bigger, like when Alice eats. I am comparing my awful last 20 odd days to the things Alice experienced down the rabbit hole: no control, alone, no idea where she is going or how long it will take, its dark, thinking about weird stuff, there is nothing to do. Finally a break, she has to hurry after the White Rabbit before she gets lost in the next long dark passage. The Walt Disney presentation of Alice falling includes more symptoms These are things I felt at some point, not all of them in one day but a few.
- I have not known my up from down for days straight.
- I was on a roller coaster that turned upside down, sent you flying, and did curlicues.
- I was on a skate board rolling back and forth: bouncing off of springs to bash my head on a wall then sliding back to do it again.
- I was convinced if anyone touched me I was going to explode. I fell and laying on the floor I started screaming that at everyone and the dog.
- I was doing somersaults
- Played on a Pogo stick
- jumped on a trampling while sitting on one of those balls with a handle
- My bed was rocking, like a swing. I held on for dear life.
- The table and chairs moved, all on there own.
- I was there, but I wasn’t. maybe like watching myself on TV what you are doing while I’m doing it? Is that really right there? So I have to touch it just to be sure.
- Someone was pulling my hair. I think the boogie man was the culprit.
- The pain had personalities of their own and they were having a party.
- Over on the right side of the tracks: DJ Ring scratches some records. “Tingle would you like to this dance?” “Oh why yes Pressure.” “Oh there you go Pressure, using Duress to get the ladies!” “Take this out back!” Miss Ache chimed in.
- Water. Falling water? Keep that stuff to yourself sunshine.
- and sunshine. Could not stand any amount of light. It was to bright. At the worst of it was afraid of the light.
- Hey Mom, there is more of you to love! Because there are three of you!
- Overly emotional
- Weird sleep.
Sometimes I couldn’t sleep at all, like for three days at a time. Then I would sleep for a whole day with little 15 minute breaks every few hours.
- I threw up about everything I ate. I was saltine and water girl. My Mom was excited when I asked for rice. I lived on the bathroom floor. Really, I had a pillow and blanket.
- My depth perception was awful at times
- I started telling jokes. What did the floor say to migrainer? I’ll always be there for you. All of my senses were screaming at me for no reason. It made me very sad.
Slowly, impatiently, frightfully, and clumsily is how I went. Somehow I have gone plop for a brief moment. We will see how long my simple ache holds on.