Today’s topic is how do we give others hope. I see three categories of others, others like me, people who try, and idiots. Each group have unique needs based what see. We need things like encouragement, understanding, emotional support, and help with physical needs.
I do not know anyone like me, someone who is barely tolerable pain every second of everyday or someone who had to learn the difference between headache and migraine by the way it hurts, not the intensity The closest is my have migraines sisters have maybe three times a year and my mom has silent migraines with her periods. I give them words of comfort, it will be okay. It is okay to talk to me about it.. Pain sucks. It will stop. What I have is rare, 3% of headache world. Do you need anything? And my youngest sister has nightmares of the world suddenly having no food during migraines, so I feed her.
My family, Uni, friends, and some other people we know really do try. One thing I found is information about my condition and descriptions about what it’s like can help them. One one thing they want to do is help and they say it with I hope you can get better or pray for you to get well. If they can understand that what I need is encouragement and help walking it brightens them up. Like my sewing group was going to take a break during the summer, but when they realized that it is one of the only things I can usually manage, they were excited because they could help and had been helping just by being there. I changed their expectations and by doing that it made it easier to hope. Don’t hope for me to get better, hope that I get through today.
Those idiots, imbeciles who say crap like “You don’t look sick” Your too young” “Are you really seeing a doctor” “You can’t be in that much pain” “drug seeker” “God is punishing you” “Have you tried some over the counter drug” “Your taking to much medicine” Those morons. I think I have a responsibility to them to help them. We start with the simplistic information that it is a genetic, neurological disorder, a disability. That they are buying into a stigma, a prejudice, against people who are unwell because it is making them face the fact that wellness is a temporary physically state that is precious and not taken for granted. That one day their body will fail them and become useless, just like mine. Sick people are people too. If God wants me this way, then okay, but the bible says not to judge people. No, miracles don’t work that way. Read your bible, please. I give them the hope of proving me wrong. But I win because they are wrong. And that makes me smile.