Today AHAM asked us to pick our favorite. I have read about every post, so this was hard. So, I chose a post of everyone who made it to the end. I don’t think I missed anyone
I’m going to start with Laura McKee aka happy girl. Day 23: Do you hope for a cure.
Can we believe that we really are anyway near finding a cure? I cannot stand any advert or ‘plan’ or ‘remedy’ that claims to be a cure now. At the moment there is NO CURE FOR MIGRAINE! And we are a very, very long way from finding one so please don’t tell me that there is-or that we are to believe that we are even half way there! You see someone might have found a diet or supplement or whatever that works for them and a set number of people but there is NOTHING that has undergone proper clinical research AND been approved as a migraine cure! I could go on, however, I’m sure there are many other blogs that have spoken of the same thing and I WILL be tweeting those avidly!
I agree. People criticize me that I do not have that hope. There is no cure. We need to bring that point home. People need to stop telling us to plan for things for after we get better.
In response to the MV on June 19, Tammy Rome wrote about how the phrase “what does not kill you makes you stronger” is determent. I was told that several times in school, I still cannot see how the pain itself has made me stronger.
That phrase is on my Top 10 List of Worst Things to Say to Someone in Chronic Pain. Every sentiment on that list got there because it’s not true, and it’s insulting to patients in pain. I know, I know. Every time I challenge one of these supposedly “uplifting” sentiments, a backlash occurs from those who find the statements helpful. Hey, if it works for you, great. I still don’t like it.
Strength does not always come from merely surviving. It doesn’t come from breaking or being broken. Strength can come from mending and being mended. Yet some broken things are tossed out. Some are repaired, yet remain weak. Some are stronger once repaired. Sometimes broken pieces are remade into things of beauty. There is no one path to strength.
Ariestess, Mental Meanderings, wrote about a quote that I really like on day 1: Emily Dickinson poem, “Hope is the Thing with Feathers”. i can relate to how Ariestess interprets the poem. I also would not to use it for death but for the suffering.
“While there are those who would use this poem for those grieving the loss of a loved one, I don’t see it that way. To me, it really is about hope and about things getting better, even when it feels like they won’t. I guess I’ve always got a tiny little optimist inside whose spirit will never be completely snuffed out by the depression and pain that can overwhelm me otherwise”
Nikki Albert, Brainless Blogger, the one that stuck out was day 29: What is Hope. I enjoyed her description and agree with it. Hope is in the now and gives us inspiration for the future. Hope is the belief of possibility and hopelessness is giving into the thoughts of impossibilities.
The human mind is special in the sense it has the capacity to project into the future potential outcomes and have expectations, desires, dreams and goals about that future. If in the present moment we are suffering we can a) believe in the future it is possible that suffering will diminish b) that the suffering will be worse in the future or c) that it will remain the same. If we were to say the past dictates the future, someone with chronic pain would look at their history of pain and logically believe the pain would either get worse or stay the same in the future. Hell, even research suggest the brain gets fixed in its experience of chronic pain, which is hard for it to ‘unlearn’. Hope resides only in our capacity to believe that it is Possible we will have some relief from suffering in the future, in some way. Not necessarily the belief of a cure from the pain, which might at this current stage of the game be unrealistic, but for less frequency of attacks, less intensity or just less general suffering so we can better cope with the attacks that we have. History may not give us any reason to believe this will actually happen. Quite the contrary in fact. Which is why hope comes from an optimistic place, or at the very least, a place of possibility. Rather than the lack of possibility.
I enjoyed Roni Jones‘ post on the 7th day, activities and hobbies. I read a lot as a kid. I also enjoy stories, books and movies, to manage the pain. I can’t read sometimes because of the pain, so I started getting books on tape. They give me hope the same way they give Roni hope.
Reading takes you to another world, one that is much different from the one you are currently in. To put it quite simply reading takes you away. For me reading as become a way to escape from the chronic pain that I find myself in almost everyday. For along with Migraines, I also have Fibromyalgia and DDD throughout my spine. So diversion techniques have become a way of life for me, or I would have gone mad some time ago. There are days when a Migraine is so bad that reading is impossible, but the other days it can be my salvation!
Jamie, our Migraine Diva, wrote on day 28 that hope is always attainable. It reminded me of different ways we hold on to hope that others find silly or the weird things we do. I don’t pray to feel better anymore, I leave that up to other people. I buy a bag of m&ms and separate the colors. A lot has been taken away, I can’t do what I want. But when I’m in a dark place I can do little things so when people ask why I can say, I do what I want.
his quote brings about a lot of introspection. I have found myself to be in the dark many times. It surely felt as if hope was no where to be found, but it must have been around because I made it out and back into the light each time. Hope can come in many forms. It manifests in the prayers of others if you are unable to seek it out for yourself. Hope is the little voice in your head whispering to you that you can get through this obstacle. It is that urge to push through the pain despite your medications not working. Hope is acknowledging that there is always a dawn around the corner. Never lose sight of the light that hope promises. We are not stuck in a black hole devoid of light. Sometimes it feels like we are but we must remember that we always have a way out of the darkness. Whatever method you choose to find peace and calm is your way toward hope and light. Meditation, prayer, hot baths, a cup of your favorite tea, a nap, or watching your favorite movie for the thousandth time…No matter the way we choose, light is always attainable IF you remember not to forget that it is always in your reach.
The Anne Lamott quote is Hope begins in the darkthe stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. http://themigrainediva.blogspot.com/2015/06/mhambc-day-28-light-can-always-be-found.html
Sign off with Chronic Migraine Warrior’s response to “You are Loved” by Josh Gordon, Day 27. Warrior said it so well and I agree with her. The song does make me feel this way. On this post I was sick so all I could feel was pain and wrote about images that popped into my head, but watching it again, it does make me feel this way.
This song immediately brought to mind my relationship with God. He is always there. He is my strength, my comfort, my guiding light.As I listened further, I thought of relationships I’ve grown over the years. I’m blessed to have people in my life that will help me:
when my load feels too heavy,
when I feel unheard or misunderstood,
when I get lost in the pain,
when I feel the light in me has been blown out.
They are there to help lift me back up… to help me find hope. They remind me to look to my faith for grace, mercy, and hope. And, they hold onto hope, when I struggle to hold on myself. Their love, patience, and grace is beautiful and amazing.I strive to be that kind of person, as well.When you feel invisible, unheard, misunderstood… you are not alone. Reach out. You are loved!